
Despite his best effort to be as quiet as possible, pulling all the duvet to his side and elbowing me on the head trying to turn in the bed, the travelling husband has been all but discreet, and obviously failing in his attempt not wake me up.
Only half awake, I have to blink twice to make sense of what I am seeing: my husband trying to make a call from an old-fashioned orange telephone (complete with receiver, speaker, and curly cord).
“What are you doing?” I managed to mumble,
“ I am calling a friend,” he candidly answered.
I look at the alarm clock on my bedsidetable and go, “It’s two o’clock in the morning. Who are you calling?”
“It’s a girlfriend. I really like her. I love talking to her. She makes me feel good.”
“Ehm, I am sorry?!? I think I didn’t hear what you just said.” And I genuinely believe I misheard; I mean, would you not?
“I am calling a friend. She is a girl I really like to talk to.” Am I mistaken, or do I detect a bit of annoyance in his voice? First I prevent his phone call, and second, I ask for explanations. Gosh, the audacity of me!!!
Still, I feel I am not getting it right here, and so I go again: “Sorry, but I really didn’t get what you are saying.”
“I AM CALLING A GIRLFRIEND WHO I REALLY LIKE!” Ok, now there is definitely annoyance in the travelling husband’s tone and also a bit of “are you thick or what?”. Well, I am not! In fact, I clearly got what he said this time, and I also finally understand what people mean when they say they can’t believe their ears.
The realisation of what is going on here hurts me as if a big butcher knife pushed deep inside my back, but before I could even put together the only words popping into my head, WTF, the girls screamed for us.
The traveling husbnad is, unusually, the first to jump out of bed ( the special friend must work on his fitness too) and when I joined him in daughter number two’s room, he is comfabuling with daughter number one if the apparently unbearable cramps her sister is having might be appendicitis or food poisoning.
“Oh, for God’s sake, it’s just period pains. An Ibuprofen will fix it,” I say, maybe a bit too harsh but, hey, we have all been there and happily survived; what I am not sure I’m going to survive is the sudden crash of my marriage.
“Jeez, why are you so cranky mom? And what about if it’s not?” Daughter number one asks, obviously not used to my disinterest.
“I don’t know then. Ask your father, he might ask his special friend.” I barked, a bit too loud and, haime’, perfectly aware of breaking the first rule of a good parent: leave the kids out of your marriage trouble. Sorry guys, not feeling very mumsy at the moment, or altruistic. Actually, I am starting to feel pretty angry, ok maybe angry is a bit of an understatement, and my mind is already spiralling with images of nasty divorce lawyers fighting for me in court. But fighting for what? I gave up my career and most of what I have is in common with this bad bad man who calls his special girlfriend in the middle of the night with me sleeping beside him and he doesn’t even have the courtesy to deny it or, at least, be quiet about it.
Oh my God, how did I end up in this situation? There were signs before? Doubts and dilemmas and pain and aches and then…Then thanks to heaven my middle-aged woman’s bladder woke me up for the usual trip to the bathroom.
What the heck was that? Well, I would hardly call it a dream. I would more call it a freaking nightmare. And, believe me, that version of the travelling husband made me want to hug Freddy Krugher.
Unecessary to say that I struggled before going back to sleep and yes, before you ask, I did think to call the traveling husbnad (who was obviously traveling), just to check if his phone rang free or not; but by then it was past three in the morning and if he was fast asleep, rather than conversing wth a very special friend, that would have not gone down well, would have?!
The first night he was back though, while both in bed, I told him about my dream/nightmare.
“But, we don’t have a land line anymore.” He said perplexed.
Seriously? This was all his take of my devastating nocturnal ordeal?
Maybe moved by my astonished expression, or most likely not, he added: “Anyway, don’t worry, I don’t need another special girl, right ……Ada?!” And just like that, he rested his hand on the dog’s head who, God forbid she leaves his side.
Yep, a phone with a long cord might indeed come in handy on certain occasions!
Sweet dreams everybody and enjoy the wee ahead 😜🥰



